ANNOUNCEMENT: SIGBOVIK 2013

oneweirdkerneltrick.com has announced it wil be giving a presentation at the prestigious SIGBOVIK 2013 conference. Attend to learn how to minimize your empirical risk for free and without hassle. Researchers "in the know" claim that various new groundbreaking machine learning results will be presented on Cat Bases, Online Regret Minimization, Algebraic Geometry and Supernaturally inspired Machine Learning.

Update! Papers available! READ THEM BEFORE THEY GET BANNED!

You may also get the conference full proceedings at the SIGBOVIK website.

NEW! See the SIGBOVIK13 slide decks!!

Separating Hyperplanes Made EASY!!!

When Pennsylvania machine learning practitioners use this trick many are shocked at the results they find. Most just cannot believe that their test set accuracies are real, but the truth is that it is now easy to learn separating hyperplanes with this one weird trick.

Research has found oneweirdkerneltrick.com to be one of the most trusted, secure and effective online services that provide machine learners with lower error rates. Congratulations to oneweirdkerneltrick.com for offering a wonderful service and for making an honest effort to help learners all over America reduce their empirical risk. If you too would like to receive the benefits of using this free service click here. Just enter you credit card number and click continue to gain access to the system.

Shockingly Effective Trick To Maximize your Margin!!!

Dr Vapnik, the authority on everything related to statistical learning theory, set out to do some research and determine whether these techniques live up to their reputations. After several weeks Vladimir was able to report back on several of his findings. The most exciting of which was he now is going to improve accuracy by .8 over the next year.

Based on these findings it is evident the only way to get the empirical risk you deserve is to take matters into your own hands. Smart machine learners already know this, and as a result are using our one weird trick to receive unbiased empircal risk estimates fast and hassle free.

Kim's Weird Secret!!

What is Kim's secret to keeping off the pounds while pregnant?? The blogs say Kim eats corn one kernel at a time. But we're talking of another kind of weird kernel trick!! Click here to see our EXCLUSIVE presentation to learn how to minimize your L2 norm when you're a reproducing kernel! Or read the white paper!

Risk Minimization 4 Patriots

37-year-old patriot discovers "weird" trick to end slavery to the Bayesian monopoly. Discover the underground trick she used to slash her empirical risk by 75% in less than 30 days... before they shut her down. Click here to watch the shocking video! Get the Shocking Free Report!

What they don't want you to know!

Local graduate student discovers one weird kernel trick to make $100/hr while keeping her stipend!

Princeton Professor unlocks key to asymptotic bounds

Are you and your family ready to approach infinity with the help of Acai extract? Buy this superfood now! Only 8 items left!!

Cornell professor describes the five signs that you will overfit and die

IBM doesn't want you to know these signs so you will overpay for expert advice. Find the white paper they wanted buried!

Are you ready for a risk crisis?

MIT professor says "empirical risk will shoot through the roof" and angry mobs will kill your family before your own eyes!!! Find out how to prepare for the final risk crisis!